I don't like it when I hear people say, "the past is past" or today is for the living as if those events and people who came before had no say in the present. That's doo-doo. Everyone's past is sculpted, shaped and molded by the past that came before. Would Hitler have become what he was without Germany going through what it did before he even came on the scene? I think not.
Dwelling on the past is probably not the best thing one can do, but seeing it again is not such a bad idea. What is that quote, "those who ignore history, tend to repeat it?". That's probably not the quote exactly but the sentiment is the same. How can I hope to go forward if I cannot respect where I came from? My sense of self was shaped from my parents, my grandparents, other family members, my friends, my not-friends and those quirky satellite-people who I've met over the years.
One thing that I've dragged along with me all those years is my faith. I learned about it from our parents. I learned that you could sleep in church during the sermon, but don't let anyone see you do it. I learned that fidgeting in the pew was not the proper way to behave and that the songs that were in the red book were there probably 500 years ago and sung in probably the same way. But I also learned that Christianity is community. People caring for each other, when maybe you don't even like each other is what faith and belief in a higher power is what life and existence are supposed to be about. Watching my mother do something as charitable as listening to my Aunt Alice tell the same story for the 50th time without interrupting and saying, "Yes, you said that before," was a lesson that I haven't forgotten even now, when I wished I had. Seeing my dad go over to a friends' house and help them build a deck or rebuild a kitchen (while neglecting what needed to be done at our house) may not have been the best example of caring and giving, but it showed me how generous he was for others. Going to committee meetings seems tedious, but I saw both of our parents do that to show their support and concern for the "work of the church". I learned it wasn't just about the offering on Sunday, but the offering of the self in other places at other times.
Sometimes I watch my children and wonder what they have taken from their views of my husband and I. He stayed home while I went to church, every Sunday, went to Sunday School every Sunday, taught Sunday School every Sunday. They don't go to church and don't seem to miss it at all. Is this a lack of communication? A lack of my influence or simply something they don't think they need to drag along with them? I don't know. And I can't make them take it with them. As much as I wish I could.
so the past which helped to shape me, is not necessarily helping to shape my children. But they'll know I am Christian, I hope by my actions like my parents before me. Maybe that's enough.
2 comments:
One thing that I've dragged along with me all those years is my faith.
Hmm. Interesting word choice!
Granted I'm not exactly an impartial observer, but I do think the past which shaped you has shaped -- is shaping -- your kids.
When I first moved down here, on Christmas Eve not only my stepkids (B&J) but also a couple of our friends would attend church with us. This sort of -- well, not shocked exactly... sort of interested B. Why? "But aren't they" (whispering) "atheists?"
The friends in question could probably be better described as anti-church rather than anti-religion. But as I said to The Missus (who agreed with me, by the way), "I don't have any problem at all with people who say they don't believe in God or Jesus, as long as they act like they do."
(From a cynic's point of view this is a convenient opinion for me to hold, as my own jury will probably be out on those Big Questions until a split-second before I die. :))
Your kids are doing just great. Again, they're not mine so I've got no business even saying this, but: it's hard for me to imagine what an active church life, at this point, would do to make them better people. (And for that matter, it's hard to imagine B&BL would have been any less generous -- Christian -- if they hadn't had church.)
But it's still one of those ponderables that you cannot know the answers to until well, I guess it's over (your life, their life, whatever). Christian community is the crux of the whole ball of wax. The love experienced within the context of those people in that setting is what the basis is supposed to be about. What Jesus prattled on and on about and the disciples didn't get it. I guess that means we don't get it either.
Technically speaking, I know my kids are great. I think they are fantastic adults and that's all to the good. But what of their belief system? What of their choices? Upon what rock do they stand? This doesn't wake me up at nights, but it does make me restless some days.
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