Ramblings and Rumblings

It's not going well and yet it's not really bad either. The summer has morphed into a mish-mosh of empty days pinged occasionally by good ones. The day after day after day of working and coming home and going to the gym and attending yet another church meeting, going to sleep and starting it all over again is numbing. I haven't written anything for more than a month. And it didn't feel like I was missing anything until I looked at the last post and realized, "holy cow, it's been over a month!" The mundaness is numbing actually. The getting up, putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on is not what I wish for, but if you were to ask what I wish for, I couldn't answer that either. I never had a "grand plan". Never really thought I would do with myself when I grew up. Didn't even really think about growing up. It just happened. As has most of the things in my life. They just happened.  Do most people have "plans"? Do other people have stuff all figured out in advance? Am I the minority here? Summer is probably the worst time for me for a bunch of reasons. I'm annoyed at myself for frittering away some precious vacation days with time off and no specified destination or plans in mind. But, then we've just established, that plans don't figure in my view of things. Are there things I want to accomplish? Not that I'm aware of. Perhaps I need a life coach to show me the road to "self-fulfillment" or enlightenment or well, whatever. Perhaps I need a psychiatrist. I know a few people who love me who would say I've probably needed one of those for quite a while (I'm grinning as I write that). Perhaps I need to stop concentrating so hard on myself and get out of my own head. Which is probably what I need to do in the most immediate future. So I will sign off for now and do something worldly, unselfish and philanthropic. Or maybe I'll just go in the living room and read on the iPad. It's a long summer. And it's not over yet.