They Hide in the Darkness

I am not afraid of bugs. If there is a bug, no matter how big or even small in my house, and it does not belong there I will either gush it or send it packing outside. Outside I look at them, watch their behaviors, marvel at their mechanics and try not to molest them in any way. I say bugs, not insects as I have been known to actually watch arachnids on occasion, if I'm sure they don't look too big nor too hungry.

But while having dinner with three friends the other night, we got, for some reason that I can't quite remember, on the topic of camel crickets. These bugs have bulbous brown bodies (think of the idea of Shelob in the Lord of the Rings), with long wavering antennae and huge-and I mean out of proportion-back legs with which to jump. They jump erratically, too. They don't seem to have that "scurry and flee" reaction that most bugs have. They jump willy-nilly, helter-skelter and many times right at you! A disturbing tendency to be sure. As the discussion of these strange creatures went on, several tidbits of information were shared as we have all observed them. One is the aforementioned ability--bordering on desire it seems to us--to jump at their impending doom as opposed to away. Another creepy side-light to their nature is their cannibalistic propensity to eat each other, especially when one is unable to defend itself. Having a cat who used to enjoy maiming these denizens of the basement without actually eating them, I have witnessed this phenomenon myself. It is not a pretty sight. We were all discussing their sudden appearance in our homes, particularly in the basement when one of our friends stated that her husband has an electronic fly swatter (which looks like a tennis racket with smaller holes) and she wondered if it would work on these? Her eldest never travels into the basement without this weapon of destruction, but she felt as though they could "feel" the vibes of it and stayed out of his way. My daughter used to go down to the basement armed with either a large cardboard tube (for whacking at a distance), or would use rolls of wrapping paper she would procure whilst down amongst them. Hmm, maybe they only attack the oldest of the family? Nah. They have jumped at me as I came down to get something from the freezer and I have developed a sort of St. Vitus dance trying to leap counterpoint to their hopping so that I land on them before they get a chance to propel again. I'm grateful the neighbors can't see this uncoordinated jig, as I'm sure it would be the topic of much across the fence hilarity.

We ended our discussion of these bugs with the idea--creepy as it was--that we hoped we never found ourselves falling down the basement steps at the mercy of these critters. They would show no mercy, we were sure and without the trusty electronic zapper, nothing would be left as they ate us and each other. Ewwww!